The more you keep trying to hold on, the more you are pushing me away...
When I see you, I don't want to see a face of despondency. Even if you hide it, I can still see it. I rather just give you the time to make changes for yourself- to find some sense of peace and reconciliation.
Why am I so distant? Its because I can't surround myself in an environment that will put me down.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Thinking randomly
I just had a conversation with Denny, and he put a lot of things into perspective for me.
Actions can be looked upon in several ways. Impressions matter.
I'd like to think that my actions and thought process is straight forward. I am easily entertained by the most simplest things. What I do or say, is how it is. My actions are simple. But I am beginning to see that other individuals don't see me in that same light. They hold a lot of ambiguity towards me. Perhaps, their past experience has led them to question a lot of people, including myself.
We are human. We are complicated and living. I can't blame people for second guessing actions. Sometimes I question the most simplest of things. Can something be so simple in life? Its hard to think that, when random thoughts continuously run through our minds.
Shit happens... I understand. If shit happens, why make a huge fuss out of it? There's no point. I try to take life as it is. I hope I do.
I am beginning to dig deep into my roots as a female-the societal pressures that we face in a day to day basis.
For instance, the media has affected several societal views on beauty. People often say that “beauty is skin deep” but is it really? If it were the case, then why does our American society base so much of its criticism on our appearances through ones own weight, figure, and performances? I often question that, and although I would like to live by that particular quote, I find it unrealistic in this society that is filled with so many materialistic and superficial views. It’s hard to avoid due to all pressures that constantly surround me. I think this relentless need to conform is based on our everyday public influences that the media sets upon us through books, magazines, television, billboards, advertisements and especially the World Wide Web. I feel as if our American culture is manifested with so many superficial mindsets and that it has pressured me to conform to those idealisms as well. As much as I try to break away from it, its pretty unavoidable...
Some of you may think. Why do you even care about what people think? Well think about it. Since the say we were born, we were conditioned to feel insecure about our actions-what we say, how was speak, how we dress, how we walk. We are constantly criticized. Okay, something in regards to a persons looks. Yes, we can accept ourselves for how we look. But it doesn't help when we are constantly exposed to so much influence...
How would the world be like if we held no sense of monetary value? Would it be at peace? Would there even be a purpose to living at all?
Another random, but last thought for this blog... Why is it that people are so consumed in other peoples business? Could it possibly be because they have boring lives themselves? I think, people are consumed in other peoples miseries, if anything. Think about it... Something that is so problematic in a persons life, is so interesting to watch or hear about. Admit it people, we like seeing people suffer. Why? Because it affects you in such a way where you possess a sense of sympathy or hate for that person. It effects your emotions, values, ethics, etc. Thats why people are so consumed. Or so I think?
Hah! yah.. my random thoughts. Perhaps, i'm not as simple...ENJOY
Actions can be looked upon in several ways. Impressions matter.
I'd like to think that my actions and thought process is straight forward. I am easily entertained by the most simplest things. What I do or say, is how it is. My actions are simple. But I am beginning to see that other individuals don't see me in that same light. They hold a lot of ambiguity towards me. Perhaps, their past experience has led them to question a lot of people, including myself.
We are human. We are complicated and living. I can't blame people for second guessing actions. Sometimes I question the most simplest of things. Can something be so simple in life? Its hard to think that, when random thoughts continuously run through our minds.
Shit happens... I understand. If shit happens, why make a huge fuss out of it? There's no point. I try to take life as it is. I hope I do.
I am beginning to dig deep into my roots as a female-the societal pressures that we face in a day to day basis.
For instance, the media has affected several societal views on beauty. People often say that “beauty is skin deep” but is it really? If it were the case, then why does our American society base so much of its criticism on our appearances through ones own weight, figure, and performances? I often question that, and although I would like to live by that particular quote, I find it unrealistic in this society that is filled with so many materialistic and superficial views. It’s hard to avoid due to all pressures that constantly surround me. I think this relentless need to conform is based on our everyday public influences that the media sets upon us through books, magazines, television, billboards, advertisements and especially the World Wide Web. I feel as if our American culture is manifested with so many superficial mindsets and that it has pressured me to conform to those idealisms as well. As much as I try to break away from it, its pretty unavoidable...
Some of you may think. Why do you even care about what people think? Well think about it. Since the say we were born, we were conditioned to feel insecure about our actions-what we say, how was speak, how we dress, how we walk. We are constantly criticized. Okay, something in regards to a persons looks. Yes, we can accept ourselves for how we look. But it doesn't help when we are constantly exposed to so much influence...
How would the world be like if we held no sense of monetary value? Would it be at peace? Would there even be a purpose to living at all?
Another random, but last thought for this blog... Why is it that people are so consumed in other peoples business? Could it possibly be because they have boring lives themselves? I think, people are consumed in other peoples miseries, if anything. Think about it... Something that is so problematic in a persons life, is so interesting to watch or hear about. Admit it people, we like seeing people suffer. Why? Because it affects you in such a way where you possess a sense of sympathy or hate for that person. It effects your emotions, values, ethics, etc. Thats why people are so consumed. Or so I think?
Hah! yah.. my random thoughts. Perhaps, i'm not as simple...ENJOY
Monday, June 21, 2010
Law 32
"The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant. Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes from disenchantment. Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert; Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses".
-Robert Greene
-Robert Greene
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Continuous rants
Maybe I should become a lesbian. Apparently, guys are nothing but preconceived morons that want nothing but pussy. Are there decent guys around?
Geez, there are a lot of assholes. Actually, Ill correct myself. The cute ones are assholes. They have too much of a big ego.
Hahaha, just for the record. I am not one of those girls that will fall under stupid spells like that. In fact, I can see past a lot of your moronic plans.
The feminist side of me is unleashing, Feel my damn rathe you fools!
Geez, there are a lot of assholes. Actually, Ill correct myself. The cute ones are assholes. They have too much of a big ego.
Hahaha, just for the record. I am not one of those girls that will fall under stupid spells like that. In fact, I can see past a lot of your moronic plans.
The feminist side of me is unleashing, Feel my damn rathe you fools!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The Males Species... ugh
Why is it that when females do nice things to guys as a friendly gesture, guys take it the wrong way. They begin to assume the girl is interested; if not interested, the guy gets all sprung and beings to make flirtatious gestures in return... COME ON NOW!! Then when the girls expresses they aren't interested and they initially JUST wanted to be friends. The guy ends of being a total douche because hes utterly embarrassed from denial. Sorry, shit happens.
I've come to realize that guys made me happy in the past. My happiness revolved around getting attention, love, and a good fuck. Instead of focusing on myself, I focused on trying to make relationships work. I am finally single. After 5 years of on going relationships, I finally have time to think for myself and only myself. To make self improvements. I don't need a guy to make me happy. Its really pathetic now when I look back on it. And now that I am single! I will embrace it, and make new friends, and have fun (responsibly, lol).
I've come to realize that guys made me happy in the past. My happiness revolved around getting attention, love, and a good fuck. Instead of focusing on myself, I focused on trying to make relationships work. I am finally single. After 5 years of on going relationships, I finally have time to think for myself and only myself. To make self improvements. I don't need a guy to make me happy. Its really pathetic now when I look back on it. And now that I am single! I will embrace it, and make new friends, and have fun (responsibly, lol).
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Just got a new mac book pro and im not using it yet?
I just got a new mac book pro, but I am currently on my old Sony Vaio. Odd? Yes!
Typically, I would have been "screw you Vaio, I replaced you with a Mac fool!" But truth is... I love my Vaio. As much noise, viruses, and random problems it gives me, we've been through a lot. Oh Vaio, I do love you still. And I'll continue to use you, until the day one of us deceases...
I currently have 3 computer devices. My Vaio, my Dell netbook, and now my Mac. I typically don't believe in Polygamy, but hey! These three completely satisfy my everyday needs. Love you laptops! LOL
Typically, I would have been "screw you Vaio, I replaced you with a Mac fool!" But truth is... I love my Vaio. As much noise, viruses, and random problems it gives me, we've been through a lot. Oh Vaio, I do love you still. And I'll continue to use you, until the day one of us deceases...
I currently have 3 computer devices. My Vaio, my Dell netbook, and now my Mac. I typically don't believe in Polygamy, but hey! These three completely satisfy my everyday needs. Love you laptops! LOL
Interesting Dream
I had a dream that I was involved with a guy about two-three years older than me. He had already established his career and he came from a well off respectable family.
He went to my house saying he had a surprise for me, gave me a piggy back, and showed me a brand new car. He said he bought it for me. I was screaming like crazy, went inside and I saw a Tiffany's jewelry box. He took it, opened it, then proposed to me. I said yes.
Odd thing was, deep inside, I didn't want to marry him.
Then I woke up. Werid
He went to my house saying he had a surprise for me, gave me a piggy back, and showed me a brand new car. He said he bought it for me. I was screaming like crazy, went inside and I saw a Tiffany's jewelry box. He took it, opened it, then proposed to me. I said yes.
Odd thing was, deep inside, I didn't want to marry him.
Then I woke up. Werid
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